Are Your Ears Working?

Lately, I've been feeling like a broken record.  I find myself repeating things over and over and getting louder and louder the more I say them.  I can't help but wonder what's going on in that little head of hers.  I often ask, "Are your ears working?"  She looks at me with a smile on her face and says, "Yes."  I'm beginning to wonder...  When I picked Alyssa up from preschool yesterday, she was in "Time Out."  I asked the teacher why and she said, "Nothing specific.  She's just not listening."

I remember reading an article about toddlers not always listening and how they may not realize they aren't listening.  They just have a very short attention span and they may actually forget what you've asked if their attention is on something else.  So, rather than listening, the goal is to get their attention.  Easier said than done, right?

Here's what several experts recommend to get those little ears to work and get them to pay attention:

• Get on their level.  Squat down and look them in the eyes when you're talking to them.
• Be clear.  Speak simply and with authority.  Don't phrase requests as a question if they don't have a choice.  Don't be too wordy.
• Follow through...and quickly.  If you say you're going to do something, do it.  Don't make threats or promises you aren't willing to keep.
• Reinforce your message.  Use visual or physical cues to guild your child if they are too focused, such as pulling down the covers and patting the pillow as a sign that it's bedtime.
• Give warnings.  If it's time to get a bath soon, give a heads up about 5-10 minutes in advance so they know playtime is over.  Don't just pull a child away from an activity.
• Give realistic instructions.  Rather than telling a child to pick up their toys, try naming specific ones to put away.
• Motivate.  Use alternatives to yelling to get good behavior such as making up silly songs or offering rewards for completing a task such as picking out a favorite book for bedtime. Praise the child upon completion of a task.
• Model good behavior.  Listen to your child, look at them when they talk to you, respond politely, and let them finish without interrupting.  Try not to turn your back on a child or walk away while they are talking to you.

I do fairly well on most of these, but I definitely need some work on making my requests clear and following through.  I'm going to work extra hard to make some improvements and see if that helps.  I definitely don't want to spend the next 15 years saying, "Why aren't you listening to me?"  It's time to get those little ears working.