Are Your Ears Working?

Lately, I've been feeling like a broken record.  I find myself repeating things over and over and getting louder and louder the more I say them.  I can't help but wonder what's going on in that little head of hers.  I often ask, "Are your ears working?"  She looks at me with a smile on her face and says, "Yes."  I'm beginning to wonder...  When I picked Alyssa up from preschool yesterday, she was in "Time Out."  I asked the teacher why and she said, "Nothing specific.  She's just not listening."

I remember reading an article about toddlers not always listening and how they may not realize they aren't listening.  They just have a very short attention span and they may actually forget what you've asked if their attention is on something else.  So, rather than listening, the goal is to get their attention.  Easier said than done, right?

Here's what several experts recommend to get those little ears to work and get them to pay attention:

• Get on their level.  Squat down and look them in the eyes when you're talking to them.
• Be clear.  Speak simply and with authority.  Don't phrase requests as a question if they don't have a choice.  Don't be too wordy.
• Follow through...and quickly.  If you say you're going to do something, do it.  Don't make threats or promises you aren't willing to keep.
• Reinforce your message.  Use visual or physical cues to guild your child if they are too focused, such as pulling down the covers and patting the pillow as a sign that it's bedtime.
• Give warnings.  If it's time to get a bath soon, give a heads up about 5-10 minutes in advance so they know playtime is over.  Don't just pull a child away from an activity.
• Give realistic instructions.  Rather than telling a child to pick up their toys, try naming specific ones to put away.
• Motivate.  Use alternatives to yelling to get good behavior such as making up silly songs or offering rewards for completing a task such as picking out a favorite book for bedtime. Praise the child upon completion of a task.
• Model good behavior.  Listen to your child, look at them when they talk to you, respond politely, and let them finish without interrupting.  Try not to turn your back on a child or walk away while they are talking to you.

I do fairly well on most of these, but I definitely need some work on making my requests clear and following through.  I'm going to work extra hard to make some improvements and see if that helps.  I definitely don't want to spend the next 15 years saying, "Why aren't you listening to me?"  It's time to get those little ears working.

I’ve Got the Toilet Training Blues

The pull-ups are full, the toilet is not

I keep on trying, giving it all I've got

I've offered candy, and money too!

What does it take, to get them to go poo?

I've got the blues... the toilet training blues.

I bought lots of panties, she put them on

I thought it would work, guess I was wrong

Now she knows, when her pull-ups are full

She takes them off, and throws them on the floor.

I've got the blues... the toilet training blues.

"Do you have to go potty?" She answers, "No."

I beg and I plea, "Will you try to go?"

Just minutes later, she's standing all quiet

Her pull-up is full, "Why didn't you use the toilet?"

I've got the blues... the toilet training blues.

She used to go in the morning, but not anymore

I sit and I wait, and I wait some more

After 5 minutes, she's still looking at me

"How much time, does it take to go pee?"

I've got the blues... the toilet training blues.

She knows what she's doing, but doesn't care

I'm sick of changing diapers, it's just not fair

I've had enough, I can't take anymore

I drew the line, when poop was on the floor.

I've got the blues... the toilet training blues.

How long will it take, how old will she be

Before we can say, we're pull-up free

There's one thing worse, than terrible 2's

It's the blues, the toilet training blues.

An original by C.N.F.

Portraits

We had portraits on Friday and they turned out better than I expected.  Alyssa was a little diva posing for the camera.  I told her if she was good that she'd get a lollipop when she was done.  Nothing like good ol' bribery to get some good pictures.  I was so happy that the scratch she got on her face last week had completely healed (thanks Neosporin!).   The photographer couldn't believe that she was turning 3.  He said it's very difficult to take pictures of 3-year-olds.  I'm so pleased with how they all turned out.  We got a really great family portrait too!  You can check them out by clicking on my Flickr album to the right.

Velcro Kid

I've always seen those kids stuck like velcro to their mother's leg.  I'd watch as the mother pried her child from her leg and tried to make the quick escape before reattachment occurred.  I thought children went through separation anxiety around age 2.   Alyssa always loved going to school, so she never cried when I left...until now.  As I go to leave, she runs after me asking for hugs.  Who's going to turn down a hug, right?  When I hug her, she latches on and doesn't let go.  I pry her hands from around my neck, return her to her seat, and she runs after me again.  We do this 2-3 times before I finally say enough.  Then, as I'm leaving, I can hear her saying, "My Mommy!" and she starts to cry.

Of course, it makes me feel terrible that I have to leave her and go to work.  For a while, she would tell me that she's going to work and I'm going to school.  She'd do this silly little "I'm going to work!" walk, giggle at herself, and then she'd return to the table.  It's different now, she's not being silly and it's not funny.  After the Oscar-winning performance today, I peeked on her about a minute after she thought I was gone.  There were no tears.  She was not sad.  She was smiling, eating breakfast, and talking to one of other girls in her class that had just done the same to her mother.   Unbelievable!   They certainly know how to pull our heart strings, don't they?

What a Sneak!

Check this out! Alyssa was watching a cartoon and I went in to tell her it was bath time and this is what I saw! She was sitting there eating the peach that I wanted to take for lunch tomorrow. I could not believe my eyes. She told me she wanted a snack and I said no because we had just eaten dinner. She asked for watermelon and it was already all gone because we shared it after dinner. So, I didn't think anything of it. I guess the little sneak decided to help herself to a snack. I told her she was bad, but she smiled at me and said, "It's yummy!" Well yeah, it's yummy, it's my peach! Anyway, this is where I need some work on my parenting. What should I have done? Should I have taken it away and given her a time out? It's really hard for me to send her into a raging fit for nothing. So, I let her finish the peach...at least someone got to enjoy it!

Locked Out!

Alyssa got a new Dora umbrella this weekend and we told her she could use it the next time it rained. Well, we had quite a monsoon storm around 4:00 p.m. yesterday. It was raining pretty hard, so we went outside to play in the rain. Alyssa looked so cute standing in the middle of the yard with her umbrella. She was so excited!!!

While I was outside, I noticed a broken sprinkler that needed to be thrown in the trash. Alyssa was just hanging out on the patio, so I told her I'd be right back. The thought crossed my head as I was walking that she could go back inside the house, but I never expected her to go inside and lock the door. I could see her smiling face through the glass. The little stinker locked me out! So, I got down on my knees and begged her to unlock the door. "Alyssa, open the door for Mommy please." Alyssa says, "I did already!" Yet, the deadbolt was still locked. "Alyssa, can you open the top one for Mommy." (jiggle, jiggle) Still not unlocked. "Come on, Alyssa unlock the door."

In the back of my mind, I always knew that I could go around the house and go through the garage to get in, so I was patient. Finally, she opened the door and I told her to never to that again. Of course, she cried... I later realized that the door from the garage to the house was locked, so I was truly locked out. I think it's time to figure out where the spare key is.

Swimming Lessons

Alyssa had her first swim lesson today.  She did very well.  There are only four kids per class.  All of the kids sit on the step while they watch the teacher work with another kid.  Of course, Alyssa didn't want to sit so she kept sliding down to the next step.  The teacher told her that if she didn't stay put that she would have to get out of the water.  Alyssa decided to test her and had to sit on the edge of the pool for one round.  It was nice to see the teacher follow through and Alyssa listened from that point forward.  It was really funny to watch too!  She got to make bubbles with her face in the water, practice kicking, practice making scoopers with her hands, jump in the water from the step, and float on her back.  We will be going to swimming every Saturday through December.  Alyssa loves the water and it was nice seeing her following directions and learning from other kids her age.  

Kids and Portraits

What is it with kids and portraits anyway?  We're one week away from Alyssa's annual portraits and she comes home from school with a 1/2 inch scratch on her face.  Of all weeks, why this one?  Why do kids always get some kind of scratch or bruise on their face right before family pictures?  I know I'm not alone on this one.  I guess it's just Murphy's law.  If this continues to happen over the years, I think I'll schedule two appointments.  If something happens before the first one, I'll just cancel it and have healing time to make the next one.  If it were only that easy, right?   You know why I love taking my own pictures?  Photoshop!!!  Scratches, no problem.  Blemishes, gone.  With a click of the mouse, all of our little imperfections are fixed.  We had beautiful close up pictures of Alyssa when she was a baby, but she scratched up her entire forehead with her fingernails.  Yes, I admit that I removed all of the scratches.  The facial expressions were too priceless!  Anyway, portraits are next Friday.  Let's hope the scratch is all better by then.

Hide and Seek

It's time for hide and seek.  Alyssa likes to tell me to hide and she comes to find me.  Last night, she told me to stay in her room.  So, I hid in the closet.  She came in to find me and I was gone.  She started looking down the hallway and in my room.  Then, it sounded like she was going to cry, "Mommy, where are you?"  A little voice from the closet says, "In here!"  She comes back into her room, "Mommy?"  The little voice says, "Over here!"  I made sure that my head was in clear view and when she found me she exclaimed, "MOMMY!  There you are!"  Then said, "Hide again!"  This time, I hid behind two pillows in the corner of the room.  You could clearly see my head and feet.  She acted as if she didn't know where I was and then pounced on the pillows smashing me. 

A couple days ago I hid down the hall and said, "Come find me!"  Alyssa was looking in the doors of the bathroom and bedrooms.  As she walked by me, I crawled out of the room and said, "ROOOAAARR!"  Well, that was a mistake.  I scared her so much she fell on the floor.  I felt like absolute crap for the rest of the evening.  Before she went to bed, she said, "Mommy, you scared me."  I showered her with hugs and kisses, but she still remembers.  She tells me not to scare her.  So, I make sure that I stay quiet until she sees me and says something.  That way, she enjoys playing hide and seek.  Next time, it's her turn to hide from me!

My Little Swiper

"Swiper, No Swiping!" My little swiper has been learning from Dora the Explorer. Swiper the sneaky fox is always stealing stuff from Dora and her friend Boots. Then, they have to find where Swiper put it. Tonight, Alyssa told me that she's sneaky. I asked her what she meant and she said she likes to take things from Mommy. I asked her why she likes to take things and she said she was sneaky like Swiper. Well, she's not kidding. She has been taking things from us, but we didn't realize that she was "swiping" them. Today, she swiped Sam's water bottle and took off with it into her room. She giggled as she ran away. While this is cute when it comes to the little things, it's not very cute if she's swiping things that we don't know about. We're going to have to keep our eyes out for the little swiper.

Explanation for the Piles of Lumps

We have been baffled by how many times Alyssa can make the piles of lumps all over the floor and enjoy doing it so much.  She was doing it again today and Sam figured out what it is that she's really doing.  At school, all of the kids take naps on mats on the floor.  The teacher must walk around the room giving each kid their blanket for naptime.  Alyssa is playing the teacher.  She is putting all of the kids (dollies, animals, etc.) down for a nap.  She is telling them to go to sleep.  She's just role playing.  I would have never guessed.  Sam finally figured it out.  I just fold the blankets and put them away for next time.

What? What? What?

I didn't realize that selective hearing begins at an early age. My child's response to every question lately is "What?" I found myself answering the question up to four times before finally catching on. If she doesn't want to do what I'm asking her to do, she says, "What?" It's a delay tactic. Here's a sample conversation:

[Alyssa is watching a cartoon.]
Mommy: "Alyssa, it's time to get a bath."
Alyssa: "What?"
Mommy: "Come on, it's bath time."
Alyssa: "What?"
Mommy: "I said, let's go get a bath."
Alyssa: "What?"
Mommy [frustrated]: "Movie time is over, it's bath time. Let's go!!!"
Alyssa: "What?"

You're Not My Friend!

I was not prepared for what my darling daughter said to me last night. I went in for some snuggles and she looked at me and said, "You're not my friend!" You may as well just grab my heart strings and pull them out. I said, "What do you mean I'm not your friend?" She just smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

As part of our bedtime routine, she likes to push me over. I sit in the middle of the room and she pushes on me from the front until I fall backwards. As I'm falling, I put my feet on her belly and push her up into the air and bounce her up and down. She said, "Mommy, I push you over." I said, "Why, I'm not your friend?" She looked at me with the most adorable smile ever and said, "Mommy, you're my very best friend." Now, who could say no to that?

The Post Office

Alyssa was sitting on the back of the couch last night and I told her several times to get down. She sits up there smiling, not realizing that if she falls backwards she will crack her head on the tile floor. So, I explained to her, “If you fall off the couch, you will crack your head on the floor and we’ll have to go to the hospital.”

Later that night while she was getting her bath, she bumped her head on the tub. She looked at me and said, “I bonked my head on the tub and I go to the post office.” I said, “The post office? Do you mean the hospital?” She said, “No, I go to the post office.” I said, “Do you want to mail yourself somewhere?” She just smiled.