"I'm a Big Girl! I'll Do It Myself!"

I knew this day would come. The day my daughter no longer needs my help with every little thing. She’s exerting her independence by proudly declaring, “I’m a big girl! I’ll do it myself!”

With this declaration there are a lot of behavior issues. If she doesn’t want to do what she’s asked, we hear lots of “no’s.” There are arguments when we don’t do something the way she wants to do it. Worst of all, the tantrums of the two’s have turned into major meltdowns. As a parent, I understand there is some give and take. You let them try things on their own until you have to intervene because that’s how they learn. However, that’s easier said than done. I often find myself trying to help because that’s what I’ve become accustomed to over the past three years. There’s a learning curve for moms too. I’m learning to let her try things until she asks for help.

For example, Alyssa likes to dress herself. It’s so much faster in the morning if I just do it, but I know she’s a big girl and wants to do it. So, I put out her clothes the night before and now she asks me for help with the buttons if she can’t get them. The other day she was supposed to pick some shoes and came out with one boot and one flipflop. I made her go back and put on flipflops. Now, I wonder if I should have let her go out that way. It may look a little silly, but it wouldn’t have been the end of the world.

This is an important milestone. While I struggle with letting go, these are the tasks that will build her confidence for the future. By allowing her the opportunity to try things and fail and giving her choices to make so that she can make her own decisions, we are building her confidence. When she says, “I’m a big girl! I’ll do it myself!,” that’s my queue to step back and let her give it a try.